![gomer the card shark gomer the card shark](https://hydra.mediasearch.verizon.com/ResourcesFiles/ImageLibrary/FiosTV/UnBranded/H/169_Lrg/SH000018880000.jpg)
Real butes these guys are, ain’t they? This here is Chalybion californicum-what you all commonly call the Blue Mud Dauber. He glanced up at me, his eyebrows crinkling as he sighed. Jebediah? I called out, and then spotted him crouched on the floor in a corner, his hand cradling an iridescent blue-winged dead wasp. I pointed down the hallway.įor the next ninety minutes I heard precious little and finally decided to hunt down the biblical bug butcher. I’ll be in my little office if you need me. Might want to make a note of it for next time then, I suppose, but I’ll leave you to it for now. He nodded soberly and whispered, This was not on the paperwork. I looked at him, my head cocked with incredulity.
![gomer the card shark gomer the card shark](https://i.pinimg.com/236x/21/3b/a1/213ba12e6cf0ba882fc55aada823180a.jpg)
Ma’am? I saw all the wood from the outside as I was drivin’ up, but I had no idea there’d be all this wood on the inside too. Six steps into the house he did a three-sixty spin, his wide-eyed, slack jawed visage finding my uneasy one. Let’s see if we can’t cleanse this little dwelling of its demons. Well over one hundred of all the Bens and Glens from Scotland, neatly lining an entire wall of shelving.Ĭome on in, Jebediah, I said hesitantly. I suddenly wondered if this meet and greet should come to a quick end, as a few steps farther into the house he would be received by my own set of not-quite-choir-boy-bottles. He made to swipe at his brow, and I realized the pest company had sent over a reincarnation of Mayberry’s Gomer Pyle. I am fully in charge of my faculties despite sneakin’ that sip of Mama’s cookin’ sherry she hides behind the flour tin in the pantry. It’s not been 24 hours yet since the family gatherin’ with coffee and a slice of pie to celebrate my good fortune, but I assure you. And then stood, turning to admire his freshly-inked degree. Well, uh … I stumbled, glancing up into the scalding hot sun where his head was haloed, Praise … be? My name is Jebediah, and I just got my certs. Mere moments later, I greeted a six foot three, thin as a pine sapling fellow with a beaming face exuding pure celestial rapture, and instead of shaking my hand, he held up a framed 8 x 10 diploma.īlessings on you and yours, ma’am. Infestation? Blight? Chiggery scourge and epidemic? How delightful! We’ll be right over. The jolly folks on the other end of the line proved almost too happy to hear from me. I scoured the sketches of detachable penises, and made sure I understood how one could go deaf from too much mite sex.īut seeing it in real life form, knowing that all that was happening right beneath or above my nose was something else altogether. I took copious notes about virgin births and about paralyzing would-be lovers so that your children can eat him alive. Or how a green spoon worm, happily sitting at the bottom of the sea, can accidentally inhale her husband when she simply suffered from an itch on her nose?
![gomer the card shark gomer the card shark](https://www.calstatelausu.org/images/acui/images/2012/Boston,%2092nd%20Annual/Raza%20Grad%20Booklet/image%20(1).jpg)
Because who doesn’t want to know how a frustrated Australian seaweed fly finally gets some action from all the disinterested Sheilas around him? It has been a cycle of either open up cupboard, glance toward ceiling, or focus in on floor followed by squeal, squeak, or shriek. They make quick assessment of who you are, but mostly where you live, and decide to take up residence-contributing nothing to the upkeep and maintenance, and only adding to your woes.Īs I’m pottering about my new abode, discovering nooks and cramming things in crannies, I also discover a great variety of crammed in arthropods-either walking, flying, or in some cases, swimming, depending upon the nook or cranny. I think we can all agree that we will never, ever truly be alone.Īnd for some that is a giant sigh of relief, as being alone is akin to losing your entire family and all your friends-even if they only existed on screen in the form of the cast of Downton Abbey.īut for others, no matter how hard we may try, we discover that we will shuffle on this mortal coil in the company of countless others who clearly have never been invited along. A thousand squealing thank yous to Robin Gott - sorcerer of stage, screen, and scribbles - who has so kindly taken a few minutes off from work to sit in his dressing room and whip out a handful of his amazing cartoons to accompany this post.